The amazing adventures of Doug Hughes

I’m currently enrolled in Standup 101 at DSI Comedy Theater in Carrboro. As a part of a class project we need to essentially report the news in a funny manner.  I decided to troll around the web for some amusing articles and write summaries in limerick form since limericks are inherently funny.

A couple of quick lessons I learned:

  1. Rhyming dictionaries are your friend
  2. Thesauruses are also your friend.
  3. Choose funny words to work with and then write the rest of the limerick around them
  4. It doesn’t matter what my wife says, the word “cock” is funny.

My brother, nephew, and class enjoyed them, so I figured I’d share them here.  What do you think?

Cruise Ship To Retrace Fateful Voyage

A cruise ship sails transoceanic?
The idea, to me, seems schizophrenic
What were they drinking?
Because surely they’re sinking,
since they’re retracing the voyage Titanic.

Eighteen-year-old breaks up with former teacher

To the public and press he’s quite vile,
Though a student loved him a while.
But when he went to jail,
She refused to make bail,
She dumped him for being a pedophile

Family’s ‘friendly pet’ removed from home

When police responding to an agitator,
Found only a blatant procrastinator
They were truly confused
and the beast was removed.
Babys don’t need a pet Alligator.

Timber Accident Leaves One Dead in Jackson County

Roy Heath was chopping down his tree
When to his most nonexistent glee,
Another tree uprooted
And upon his head imputed
That poor Roy was dead, most instantly.

Church cock victory joy: ‘it’s huge and majestic’

It’s really fun that our cock won,
Said senior Lars-Goran Vedon,
It’s huge and majestic!
But not actually phallic.
It’s a weathervane, not a hard-on.

Comments on: "Weird News in Limerick Form" (1)

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